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Apr. 10th, 2009 06:12 pmTranslating is slowly driving me insane. I'm getting the point where I just want to shoot myself only ten minutes into it. God, I'm almost finished! I only have two more pages! Just two more and I'm free!!! Well, I still have to do the sound effects but thankfully they don't take as long as they used to. Ugh, I hate this. At least it's nice outside and I can see how pretty it is... Wow, that's a pretty bird outside... All shiny... Gah... No procrastinating or this will never, ever, ever end. O.O
More translating talk
Mar. 20th, 2009 10:31 amWow, with all my computer trouble, I feel very lucky to have translated the bulk of KHH the week before it all started to go bad on me. I was able to all of the idialogue and since that's the hardest part, I don'tt feel so bad that the rest of it is due in four days. All I have left are the two author's notes that I not started on and the sounds effects. Even still, I am starting to feel a bit rushed and anxious. I know I can do both author's notes in a day (hell, I can probably slip in the sound effects too if I wanted) but I know that if I get lazy, it's more like do half of one in a day, finish the other half and another half in another day because I'll be guilty that I only did half the day before, another half before I get fed up and maybe sound effects because even if I'm fed up, I'll still be guilty and want to finish it up.
Generally, I like doing my sound effects in one day. I hate doing them, they make me upset so...yeah. :\
I just had an idea. Instead of blogging about how rushed I am, I should totally do those author's notes. At least one of them... Kent's stll asleep and promises to be for at least another or so, so I'll definitely have time to get it in. Okay, let's see if I make it to half or if I'm industrious and make it doing it all today. And if I do something today, I have a total of five days. Yay! That leaves me with a proofing day! Even though I don't really use it because by that time, I'm really, really fed up and I want to be done with it so it's more of a cursory thing...
Generally, I like doing my sound effects in one day. I hate doing them, they make me upset so...yeah. :\
I just had an idea. Instead of blogging about how rushed I am, I should totally do those author's notes. At least one of them... Kent's stll asleep and promises to be for at least another or so, so I'll definitely have time to get it in. Okay, let's see if I make it to half or if I'm industrious and make it doing it all today. And if I do something today, I have a total of five days. Yay! That leaves me with a proofing day! Even though I don't really use it because by that time, I'm really, really fed up and I want to be done with it so it's more of a cursory thing...
If I write something, I want it to be big. I want it to be monumental and I want it to make a difference. Is it so bad not to want just another throwaway fanfic? It's horrible but I know you all know what I'm talking about. That story that you read in maybe a couple minutes, sometimes even spend up to an half and hour or more on it but at the end of the day, it's just one along the long line of fanfics you have to read and when the next one comes up, you've almost already forgotten you've read it. And after a few more stories, you definitely would have. I don't want my writing to consist of that.
But even I know writing is an art, one that you can learn and grow at and practice at being better. One doesn't start off at the top and you have to work your way for it. I know this. I just have to get myself off my ass, haul myself up that freaking mountain and make my story mean something. Maybe in doing so, I can make the rest of my life mean something as well.
But even I know writing is an art, one that you can learn and grow at and practice at being better. One doesn't start off at the top and you have to work your way for it. I know this. I just have to get myself off my ass, haul myself up that freaking mountain and make my story mean something. Maybe in doing so, I can make the rest of my life mean something as well.
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Jan. 30th, 2009 10:29 pmI am going to go crazy doing this manga... 44 pages?! 44 pages?! *wants to die*
It's way too much work... :( The only good thing about is that there aren't all that many sound effects but I still want to kill myself. I'm a handful of sound effects to the end and on schedule too! *still wants to die though*
My head hurts. I thought I got enough sleep but apparently not... And I didn't really eat... :( I wanted ramen with soy sauce ramen...
It's way too much work... :( The only good thing about is that there aren't all that many sound effects but I still want to kill myself. I'm a handful of sound effects to the end and on schedule too! *still wants to die though*
My head hurts. I thought I got enough sleep but apparently not... And I didn't really eat... :( I wanted ramen with soy sauce ramen...
So hungry...so cold...so tired...so bored...
I'm translating manga again and it makes me want to drive a needle into my head. So much text... So exhausting... :( I had to work a bit today and I left my WaT episodes at the house... T_T If anything, I would want to be watching some yummy Enrique Murciano scenes but unfortunately no WaT episodes. So instead, I'm translating since I've been neglecting it for the last few days and I'm starting to get a bit worried about the progress I'm making on it. :\
All I want to do is not translate. But if I don't get a good amount of progress today, I might never will. If anything, I want to do another 6-8 pages tonight. If I can get that much done, I would feel a lot better about finishing this freaking chapter on time....
I'm translating manga again and it makes me want to drive a needle into my head. So much text... So exhausting... :( I had to work a bit today and I left my WaT episodes at the house... T_T If anything, I would want to be watching some yummy Enrique Murciano scenes but unfortunately no WaT episodes. So instead, I'm translating since I've been neglecting it for the last few days and I'm starting to get a bit worried about the progress I'm making on it. :\
All I want to do is not translate. But if I don't get a good amount of progress today, I might never will. If anything, I want to do another 6-8 pages tonight. If I can get that much done, I would feel a lot better about finishing this freaking chapter on time....
I got the assignment for Enchantment Scans yesterday but I didn't work on it until today...It's the first chapter of volume 2 of Kimi to Himitsu no Hanazono.
Oh my god, it's so long! And really text heavy! *dies* It's like I keep translating and translating and I get nowhere! I've only done four pages in the last two hours... *dies* This is going to take a while... :\ Damn it, I only have until the end of the month and I so don't want to spend all my time on this chapter. :(
This kinda sucks... I want to stop but I feel like I should get as much done as I can any time I have time to do it...
Okay, back to the grind. I want to have at least 10 pages done today and I've got a total of seven so far. And even if I get my 10, I'll still have... *counts* 26 more pages to go. Oh my god, so long... So disheartening... :(
Oh my god, it's so long! And really text heavy! *dies* It's like I keep translating and translating and I get nowhere! I've only done four pages in the last two hours... *dies* This is going to take a while... :\ Damn it, I only have until the end of the month and I so don't want to spend all my time on this chapter. :(
This kinda sucks... I want to stop but I feel like I should get as much done as I can any time I have time to do it...
Okay, back to the grind. I want to have at least 10 pages done today and I've got a total of seven so far. And even if I get my 10, I'll still have... *counts* 26 more pages to go. Oh my god, so long... So disheartening... :(
I have, what can only be described as the deepest respect for the character of Draco Malfoy. Despite his faults and his past actions, I believe he is singularly, a character that has a lot of potential for both good and evil. He's bit of an intense character, one I think I'm guilty of putting high up on a pedestal and making just a tad perfect but he is not. But even with his faults, I think he's still somewhat awesome. Now, how do I get Harry to think so as well?
I want to give up on this story. I really, really want to just let it waste away. But in the end, I keep coming back. It has got to be the most slowest going story ever -- only 200 words a day and no longer than a scene that does nothing for the story. I can't seem to not be wordy. That is how I am and somehow I think this is what dooms me as a good writer. I can not seem to write concisely or succinctly. I have so much extra baggage that it bogs down the story and yet I can not write it any other way. I fail as a writer but do I stop writing knowing I will never be able to be satisfied with what I've written? I procrastinate so much... I could be translating something right now, a good use of my time instead of this horribly ambitious story that will in no way stay to only 20,000 words. If I can, then that will be an absolute miracle... Gah, I don't want to work on something like this. It just doesn't feel right. But I want the story known. *sigh*
What do I do? Shall I give up for the day? It's only 5:30 PM after all... I'll probably end up going right back to it. :\
I want to give up on this story. I really, really want to just let it waste away. But in the end, I keep coming back. It has got to be the most slowest going story ever -- only 200 words a day and no longer than a scene that does nothing for the story. I can't seem to not be wordy. That is how I am and somehow I think this is what dooms me as a good writer. I can not seem to write concisely or succinctly. I have so much extra baggage that it bogs down the story and yet I can not write it any other way. I fail as a writer but do I stop writing knowing I will never be able to be satisfied with what I've written? I procrastinate so much... I could be translating something right now, a good use of my time instead of this horribly ambitious story that will in no way stay to only 20,000 words. If I can, then that will be an absolute miracle... Gah, I don't want to work on something like this. It just doesn't feel right. But I want the story known. *sigh*
What do I do? Shall I give up for the day? It's only 5:30 PM after all... I'll probably end up going right back to it. :\
My story broke itself into two. I've realized I can't write the story I want to write without some sort of backstory to go along with it and I can't feel it without actually sitting down and writing it. Only it's not that easy either... I'm finding it just as hard writing the first story to go with the second. I'm hoping the first story won't be too long, just enough to establish a previous relationship with Harry and Draco that ends up badly that would end up fueling Harry's hate of Draco that will last into the second story.
But because of this, I'm able to revisit the first title I had chosen Hello and Goodbye. Over all, I want this to be the theme of all the stories I write with this universe as well as my own feelings toward writing and the HP fandom so I didn't feel all that great about scrapping it. At least now I'm able to use it again so I'm pretty happy about that. And maybe if this grows to be longer than my two stories, I can always name the whole trilogy after it. I say trilogy because I'm not sure I want to end the second story happily and the first will not end happily. I like my happy endings and I know I would be pretty pissed off without a happy ending so another story might be warranted with that coveted happy ending. And in doing so, I will have a complete story on my hands with basically three main parts. Doesn't sound all that shabby -- now let's see if I can pull it off. I'm starting to doubt myself but who knows? I have all the time in the world, right?
But because of this, I'm able to revisit the first title I had chosen Hello and Goodbye. Over all, I want this to be the theme of all the stories I write with this universe as well as my own feelings toward writing and the HP fandom so I didn't feel all that great about scrapping it. At least now I'm able to use it again so I'm pretty happy about that. And maybe if this grows to be longer than my two stories, I can always name the whole trilogy after it. I say trilogy because I'm not sure I want to end the second story happily and the first will not end happily. I like my happy endings and I know I would be pretty pissed off without a happy ending so another story might be warranted with that coveted happy ending. And in doing so, I will have a complete story on my hands with basically three main parts. Doesn't sound all that shabby -- now let's see if I can pull it off. I'm starting to doubt myself but who knows? I have all the time in the world, right?
First fic!
Jan. 14th, 2009 09:27 pmWell, technically not but I'm working on it now but it's so slow going... It's an H/D one and I have no idea if I'll ever be able to finish it or actualize it in any meaningful way. So far, I have a scene, or part of one. I want to establish things but I'm chanting to myself "show, don't tell" and I end up revising it and deleting and rearranging my part of a scene that I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm trying to write concisely but I've never been very good at this... Having not written anything for years now, I'm not even sure I can. It's a HP fic and I don't feel as good with HP canon or facts to write a convincing piece of fanfiction in that universe... *sigh* This sucks. I'd forgotten how hard writing is for me. As of right now, I feel like I want to combine two different scenes together since my first scene seems a bit unnecessary... I don't know. We'll have to see how it goes I guess.
Anyway, the story will be titled One Good Man and is in Harry's POV. I'm hoping for something along the lines of 10,000 words maybe more around 20,000 but I don't want to be too ambitious. As of right now, I want a happy ending but this is begging for something that isn't. I don't want to leave it open to a sequel so I might try and wrap things up right now. All I want to do is to stay truthful to what I like and don't like in fanfics and to convey my idea well. If I can do that, I will count this writing venture a success... But I have a hard time just making myself continue writing the fic. I keep writing a sentence or two, getting fed up and closing the file down. But then I open it back up with a renewed drive to write -- only to write another sentence or two, change some things and give up again. So slow going... I'm at about 500 words now so it's really nothing but my part of a scene...
*deep breath* Stay true, stay true, stay true. I will revise later, maybe I should just write? Ah, I don't know... :\ Enough procrastination -- going back to it now.
Anyway, the story will be titled One Good Man and is in Harry's POV. I'm hoping for something along the lines of 10,000 words maybe more around 20,000 but I don't want to be too ambitious. As of right now, I want a happy ending but this is begging for something that isn't. I don't want to leave it open to a sequel so I might try and wrap things up right now. All I want to do is to stay truthful to what I like and don't like in fanfics and to convey my idea well. If I can do that, I will count this writing venture a success... But I have a hard time just making myself continue writing the fic. I keep writing a sentence or two, getting fed up and closing the file down. But then I open it back up with a renewed drive to write -- only to write another sentence or two, change some things and give up again. So slow going... I'm at about 500 words now so it's really nothing but my part of a scene...
*deep breath* Stay true, stay true, stay true. I will revise later, maybe I should just write? Ah, I don't know... :\ Enough procrastination -- going back to it now.
Oi! When did that happen?! My flist is not all messed up anymore! Score! After tweaking with it so long, I had almost despaired of never having it be the way it was supposed to be. I wonder what changed?
Oh well, as long as it's okay now... Still, I'm a bit annoyed that after playing around with the CSS code and the stylesheet for so long and not getting anywhere and now all of a sudden it rights itself out... :\
But as of now, I'm just enjoying how perfect it looks! Yay!
Oh well, as long as it's okay now... Still, I'm a bit annoyed that after playing around with the CSS code and the stylesheet for so long and not getting anywhere and now all of a sudden it rights itself out... :\
But as of now, I'm just enjoying how perfect it looks! Yay!
